Thursday, August 21, 2008

Pregnancy Dictionary

Came across this on the web, just for laughs!

Afterbirth
When the hard part begins.

Cravings
An excuse to hog, hog and hog your way through pregnancy.

Dilation
One of those things a pregnant woman has to take her doctor's word for.

Elastiphobia
Fear of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Stretch Marks."

First Trimester
The first three months of pregnancy when you wonder, "Is it too late to hire a surrogate mother?"

Maternity Clothes
What a pregnant woman wears to show people there's a reason she's fat.

Miracle
1. The birth of a baby.
2. The fact that you lived to tell about it.

Pregnant Pause
The amount of time it takes for a nine-month pregnant woman to get out of a chair.

Prenatal
When your life was still your own.

Pushing
Final effort to get a ten-pound baby through an opening the size of a dime. }

Second Trimester
The time when you ask the question, "Will my husband notice if I eat this gallon of ice cream and the dish of biryani before he gets home?"

Third trimester
The final months of pregnancy when you wonder, "How much longer can I keep from waddling?"